The idiom “You reap what you sow” always made total sense to me. As did: “What goes around, comes around.” I mean, if I yell at someone, they are more likely to yell right back at me than respond kindly. But I never realized the different ways I’m “sowing.” Not until this happened:
I was looking for help with a project. For an instant I considered asking Tom. (Name changed to protect privacy and save face … more mine than his 😜.) However, I quickly dismissed the idea. I was convinced he would politely decline because, in my experience, he was never there for others.
Chance would have it though that Tom heard about my project and volunteered to help. Yup, he did. I was caught by surprise. But what surprised me even more was my reaction:
“I wonder what’s that about?” I thought. “It’s not like him to lend a helping pinky, let alone a whole hand. He must have an ulterior motive.”
Yup. That’s what I thought. In other words, no matter what Tom did or didn’t do, I regarded him to be completely unconcerned about the welfare of others.
That added another dimension to “You reap what you sow”:
I “reaped” my expectation of Tom. I viewed him as selfish no matter what.
To stay within the agricultural metaphor: Not only are harvests a product of my deeds, they also display my expectations and beliefs.
But here’s the thing: I don’t have a green thumb – much less one equipped with secret superfood. My abilities are limited. Sure, regardless of the soil, with the climate I create I can spoil a crop despite the best of seeds – or I can nurture a meager sapling into a fruit-loaded tree. However, if the seed falls on a rock, it won’t even take root.
Take, for example, my two grandmothers:
The grandmother on my dad’s side would answer my phone calls saying something like:
“I am so happy you called. I know you are busy so I really appreciate hearing from you. How are you?”
On the other hand, the grandmother on my mum’s side would say:
“About time you call. I never hear from you. Do you even care how I am doing?”
So, clearly, my sphere of influence is limited when other people’s behavior is concerned. But I sure can influence my own. I can keep my side of the street clean and take responsibility for how I treat others. But how others treat me, is not on me. Or, going back to the agricultural metaphor: instead of concentrating on the reaping, I focus on cultivating what I produce. Now, how conveniently seasonable is that!? 😀
Happy Thanksgiving!
Brigitte Schneider
aka Ms. Farmer
Copyright © 2021, Brigitte Schneider. If you wish to quote text from this article contact the author by leaving a comment.
Brigitte,
As always, I appreciate your thoughtful writing so much!