… NOT
I just realized, being a perfectionist does not make me perfect. 😖
Yup.
And this is how I came to this groundbreaking conclusion:
I was on my way to the dentist. I had perfectly calculated the amount of time required to get there. “Time management” is the magic word: To be right on time. Not too soon. Not too late. Preferably right on the dot.
But as I was driving down the street, I noticed that not only was I hot-dogging through town, I was doing it with a knot in my stomach – afraid to either run late, get a traffic ticket, or cause an accident.
That’s when it hit me: Perfectionism comes at a price. While I might be perfect at time management, I am – in turn – the very opposite of a perfect driver.
That sudden insight was just a thought. Well, actually more of a glimpse of a thought. But it was enough to make me really curious. I wanted to know if it’s true that perfectionism has negative consequences. And so I did some self-observation.
As my knack for time management might indicate, I pursue efficiency. And when I say “efficiency,” I am not talking about the moments when things have to get done fast and the doing becomes a fluent, smooth dance. No, I am talking about being an uptight multi-tasker simply for the sake of being “super-efficient.” At work this can present in various ways: negligence, a lack of attention to detail, not being fully present when talking to people, acting in a constant state of hurry, making more mistakes than I like to admit … and so on and so forth. I even found myself developing a disposition to rudeness, impatience and arrogance.
Frankly, I was shocked to find out that my seemingly honorable propensity for flawlessness rather led to its opposite. If someone had told me about the side effects of perfectionism, I probably would have flat-out denied it. I would have blamed it on something else like, for instance, unfairness: It wasn’t my propensity for perfect time management that got me the speeding ticket but unfairness – other drivers speed through town ALL THE TIME and NEVER get caught.
Now that I know what perfectionism can breed, I am trying to get my priorities straight. Instead of being “super-efficient” and forcing my way onto the highway 😉, I want to roll with whatever happens. Whether it is a pedestrian crossing the street, or a driver cruising sloooooowly in front of me, rather than making the moment perfect, I want to embrace every moment as already being perfect. And I want to do that preferably without clenching my teeth or creating another perfectionist goal – like becoming the most considerate driver ever. Because, since striving for flawlessness can actually lead to its opposite, I might never get to leave my driveway again! 😂
Brigitte Schneider
aka Ms. After-You
(Also known as “You go first” and “No, you go first” and “Oh, no please you go first.”)
Copyright © 2021, Brigitte Schneider. If you wish to quote text from this article contact the author by leaving a comment.
