… chicken or egg? Which comes first? Is something making me “rightfully” angry? Or am I a grievance looking for a cause?
They say an angry person will always find something to be angry about. And frankly, when observing someone with so-called anger issues, I can only agree.
But then I heard that the predisposition to react in a certain way extends to other emotions. For example:
– an anxiety prone person will always find something to worry about,
– a critical one to be critical,
– and a kind one to be loving and caring.
Not that this assertion didn’t make sense, I just couldn’t really comprehend it. I had to experience it first hand to feel the truth of it. And fortunately I did.
There is this couple I know. I used to be worried about crossing their path, because I was afraid that I would have to deal with their “antics.” They hardly ever had anything nice to say about other people. They constantly complained and had a very angry outlook on life in general.
That’s different now. Well, maybe not completely different. “Worrying” and “crossing” have just taken on a different meaning for me. I find myself worrying about them and am always crossing my fingers that they will be alright. Yes, they still complain, but more than anything I see the dread that feeds their discontent. In other words, although my perception of them has changed, my emotional reactivity has not. I might focus on their struggles instead of their anger, but I still feel anxious whenever I think about them.
Isn’t that something? It really seems that anxiety always finds a way to flare up if I am anxiety-calibrated. That also means that I am bringing much more to the table than I would care to acknowledge … like when I try to find reasons for the state of my inner world in the outside one … 🤪.
Brigitte K. Schneider
aka Ms. Heebie Jeebies
Copyright © 2022, Brigitte K. Schneider. If you wish to quote text from this article contact the author by leaving a comment.
