Sometimes I have to take a step back. And by that I mean putting my mind and my emotions on the back burner.
Like when I went to the optical store to replace the scratched lenses of my prescription sunglasses.
The optician looked at them and said, “We don’t do these types of lenses.”
I’m gonna skip what I thought after hearing those words. Let me just say it wasn’t a compliment, which is why I knew that I had to take a step back.
Figuratively speaking, I toned down my emotions and lowered the volume of my thoughts. I cannot vow, however, that there wasn’t some residual disdain resonating in my voice when I said:
“Hm, I assumed you could replace those lenses since it was you who put them in those frames in the first place.”
That gave the optician pause. She looked up my file (finally! 😴) and found that their company had indeed made those lenses (surpriiiise!🙄).
As indicated by the snarky comments in parentheses, my righteous mind had a field day. So, I took another step back and decided to continue my purchase at a later date in a less combative mood.
When I returned the following week, I approached a different optician in hopes of a more satisfying shopping experience.
Little did I know …
… wherever I go, there I am. The optician might be different, but I am still me …
In other words, I ran into problems with her as well. First, she couldn’t find the prescription. Then she found one for bifocal lenses, but not for the progressive ones that I wanted. Then she unearthed one for progressive lenses, but it had expired. And so on and so forth …
From the get go our interaction grated on my nerves. I mean, how couldn’t it? After all I was fueling my emotions with thoughts like:
“The optician should be able to pull up the correct prescription at the drop of a hat!”
“The doctor sent in the prescription over a week ago! What’s the hold-up?”
“Why is this so complicated? I am putting in an order for sunglasses, not a ship!”
To prevent my emotional state from affecting my conversational tone, I had to constantly remind myself to take a step back. At some point I paused the exchange altogether and turned my attention to the shelves on the wall. They were stocked top to bottom with hundreds of glasses. Not that I wanted to buy anything, but trying on different frames while the optician searched for the correct prescription helped me to focus on something other than my dissatisfaction.
Strangely enough, the first pair I picked fit surprisingly well. When I say surprisingly, I mean SURPRISINGLY because usually I have THE hardest time finding glasses that fit and look good on me.
Baffled by the lucky find, my mind switched from being fraught with problems to being thrilled by opportunity. Doing the math in the back of my head, I quickly realized that a new pair of sunglasses would cost roughly the same as replacing the scratched lenses in my old frames. In other words, I could have two for the price of one! Admittedly, one of them would be scratched, but it was still a perfect backup.
I couldn’t help chuckling to myself. This whole incident had turned into something far better than I had planned. Buying a second pair of sunglasses was an awesome idea! And what enabled me to entertain this idea? Stepping back and stopping my state of mind from dictating my behavior!
Had I allowed my irritated mind to dictate my actions, I probably would have replaced the scratched lenses in my old frames. In other words, just so I could prove my point, I would have ended up with only one pair of sunglasses.
This wasn’t the first time I caught myself displaying this kind of self-defeating behavior. If situations aren’t developing the way I expect them to, my first impulse is to fight what presents itself instead of going with the flow. And if I follow that combative impulse, I often end up pursuing obsolete goals that don’t even suit my interest anymore, and I miss out.
Like when the grocery store didn’t carry “my” yogurt. They had a bigger size of that same brand but that wasn’t what I wanted. It was only after I had stomped out of the store in indignation that I realized it was actually much more convenient to purchase a bigger version. By that time, however, I had burned too many bridges complaining to the manager and the cashier that I deemed it too embarrassing to return to the store. And so I went home with nothing.
Not so with the optician. As soon as I stepped back from dictating my terms and stopped making it an issue that things weren’t unfolding the way I expected, everything turned out quite satisfactorily. Actually, more than just satisfactorily. The fact that it took the optician FOREVER ( 😉) to find my prescription, gave me the opportunity to get myself a second pair of shades! YAY!!😎
Brigitte Schneider
aka Ms. Twofer
Copyright © 2022, Brigitte Schneider. If you wish to quote text from this article contact the author by leaving a comment.
I have a recent optician story too, Brigitte, but I certainly don’t have the wonderful ability to tell the story with such humor and wisdom as you have! As always, I absolutely love your “stories”!