Have you ever had someone or something kinda sorta explode in your face? I have. Let me start with the “something” before I get to the “someone.”
I have a friend who can never ever decide what to wear. At best that translates into being late for dinner. At worst we lose our reservation and order in. Overall, no biggie because we will get fed eventually.
Albeit, when it comes to packing for a journey, her indecisiveness takes on quite different proportions. And when I say “proportions” I mean PROPORTIONS: She knows how to challenge a bag’s intake capacity by cramming in EVERYTHING she has in her closet … and then some!
Of course, on one of our trips, the inevitable happened. Mind you, that was roundabout 30 years ago. Back then there were no baggage weight restrictions and my friend had one of those hard shell, indestructible Samsonite suitcases. Customs asked her to open it. I begged them not to. They did not listen. What followed was an exemplary I-told-you-so moment.
The instant my friend unlocked the metal clasp, the overstuffed suitcase leaped open like a surprise cake and spouted out EVERYTHING that was normally safely tucked away in her closet: socks, underwear, T-shirts (and all kinds of other stuff I’d rather not mention …). My friend claims that I jumped like a goalie to catch one of her bras in midair. I, on the other hand, remember how said bra landed on my head like an eyepatch and turned me into a painfully humiliated lingerie pirate.
In any case, the whole situation definitely blindsided me and I did not quite know how to respond appropriately. And that’s exactly how I feel when people explode on me. Of course, they don’t REALLY explode on me. That’s just what I call it when someone’s message is overshadowed by their facial expression, tone of voice, volume level and choice of words. I just never know how to react. Especially since, more often than not, it is not even my baggage and yet it is flying at me!
In my experience, there is absolutely nothing I can do or say to un-explode baggage. Once someone feels triggered, they burst. Figuratively speaking, all I did was touch the latch. But I did not pack the suitcase. In other words, I am not responsible for the (dis)content.
And so, when it comes to people venting “unskillfully,” I tell myself to:
First off: Dodge! There is nothing I can do to stop it, so I might as well get out of harm’s way.
Secondly: Abstain from “tit-for-tat.”
Yep, no retaliation whatsoever. Not even a frown. Because if I am honest, I have thrown my “baggage” at others at times as well. Maybe not at the person that is snapping at me at that very moment, but I did. So I might as well allow someone else their hissy fit without turning up my nose or paying them back in kind. If only to make amends for the past.
In this spirit: Safe travels!
Brigitte Schneider
aka Ms. Gucci (née Samsonite)
Copyright © 2020, Brigitte Schneider. If you wish to quote text from this article contact the author by leaving a comment.
I had the exact same suitcase back in the day. My embarrassing moment was when the latch broke (from being overstuffed one too many times) and everything fell out on the sidewalk in front of the home of a person who I would rather not have had seen so much of MY “baggage.”
I’m smiling so big and quietly laughing. What a treat this latest “story” is! Thanks Brigitte.
Good morning Brigette,
Loved this article. Calli and I are still in Brookings. Will leave here around November 18-19 .